docked

april brought spring snows
the fallen tears of an unknown jotunn.
see dorothy we are leagues from kansas now
and my feet are made of copper wire
and my skin is full of leopard spots.
through the windfall of weed brushes
he whispered love to me
and i felt the sky close around my neck.

azul, azul!
i am become epsilon
the tipping scale the all-small
up star zero made of clouds.
if only i could sing,
but all i do is cough blue paint.
calculate the mach number
of the screams i will never reach.
one plus one means
i have been annihilated.
you measure me in seconds, never magnitude.
a refracting lens says far far away
while flux burns your eyes to shreds.
test the metallicity of my blood--
you see how i am an enigma?
you see how i lack so much matter
it is a wonder i can turn at all?

morada, morada!
my chest is rotting purple festering;
i beg the scalpel for grace.
do you like me cut open,
intestines spilled upon hardwood floors?
peel away the muscle to find
the stomach, dilapidated,
formed from ulcers of regret.
my kidney is hindsight, my liver is guilt,
tear me apart to find repentance.
take me as a lesson now.
i am today’s lecture, an academic gift.

negra, negra!
and now we are open for business!
i am become an exhibitionist.
come see! come see!
there is no end to how i can contort myself,
no rigid bodies no end shapes.
the lights here never turn off.
wait for the blackout hold your pose
freeze! be still! don’t breathe!
never move again.
the artist is present, but hold your applause.
sit before me now. do dead lifeless eyes
make you feel almighty after all?

roja, roja!
oh, how it burns!
hellish fire as it travels down.
i am become the nothingness,
the lord of small stars.
the red giants will never reach me now.
i am a trophy a signal a battlefield.
i am sharp and viscous.
i am pinpricks i am the sun
i taste ashes on my cold tongue.
click my heels click click click click
teach me how to count to five.
if only i were a hurricane
but i am still chrysalizing
and no one hears the beat of my wings.

blanca, blanca!
the sun sang in the sky and was beautiful.
i wore white i prayed i worshipped
i gave up my body to devotion.
deliver me from the here and the now;
i am piety, i need no midwife.
i am still sixteen and crying
pulled into harsh hospital walls.
i am iced out i am wiped i am sterile,
i beg you, tell me i am still clean.

amarilla, amarilla!
the moon pockmarked smiled
and opened its wolf teeth towards me.
through the jade yellow a kaleidoscope filter
underwater and fearful
the thrush kept the chorus alive.
i lifted my hands in supplication
and felt the snow rise forth from my throat.

iris, iris, iris!
con fe, querida, vas a cantar.