36 Questions

I. My best friend in middle school was in love with me, but I didn’t know. She was the last person to love me fearlessly, as only children can. I wonder if she remembers me now.

II. All I need is to be remembered by everyone.

III. My lines are always practiced. My delivery is flawless. My voice is the kind that no one forgets and my laugh is the kind that everyone falls in love with.

IV. On a perfect day, I hit all my cues, and everyone applauds.

V. I can’t lose my mind because it’s the only thing I deserve to be loved for. I can’t lose my body because it’s the only thing I’ve ever been loved for. I can lose my life,

VI. Because as long as everyone loves me I’ll never die. Secretly, I think I’ll die early, and alone. Secretly, I’ve met God, and I was afraid.

VII. I have everything in common with everyone. Here’s three: I’m going to die. I’m going to die. I’m going to die.

VIII. I’m most grateful for the people who have adored my every move.

IX. I hate everyone who has ever adored me. They kept telling me I would amount to something and now I’ll spend my entire life amounting to nothing. God won’t lie to me like they did.

X. I can try to fill four minutes but really I am just a scribbled caricature. I take no space. There is nothing to know about me.

XI. If I could wake up tomorrow and make everyone happy, that would be enough. If I woke up tomorrow and she loved me again, that would be enough. God, are you listening? God, I’m sorry. God, look at me. Is this enough for you yet?